Ideas & Writing

How Do We Become

An entry from my journal, written in the back of a yellow cab: How do we become? Is becoming something that happens after we arrive — or does it happen earlier, before anything is resolved?

There Is No Trophy for Suffering

One of the most important things I learned this year is that there isn't a trophy for suffering. When some friends found out I have cancer, a few reacted. My answer was always the same: 'My shit didn't stop your shit.'

Rule 62: Don't Take Yourself So Damn Seriously

As we approach the end of 2025, I encourage you to remember what Michael Easter calls Rule 62: Don't take yourself so damn seriously.

What Feels Like Collapse Is Frequently a Threshold

Water does not become steam by trying harder. It changes state when the conditions holding it together stop working. A lot of people are reading exhaustion as personal failure. It usually isn't.

Opportunity Doesn't Knock. It Whispers.

People say opportunity knocks. But I don't think it does. It whispers gently, usually while you're already distracted or doubting. Most people miss it.

Tomorrow I'm Turning 42

Tomorrow, I'm turning 42. I spent my 41st year becoming a new person. The headline was getting cancer, which will rearrange your perspective quickly. So I'm just really feeling grateful for 42.

Failure Is the Funniest Thing We Ever Made Sacred

Failure is the funniest thing we ever made sacred. There are seasons when the life you built starts to rattle. Everything still works. But something in the middle stops responding.

Most People's Peace Isn't Peace at All

Most people's peace isn't peace at all. They've turned the volume down on living so they don't have to hear anything at all. The big moves get postponed. The sharp edges get sanded down.

Wait Until They See Me on a Good Day

Wait until they see me on a good day. They'll realize the bad days were mercy. Because the bad days were quiet. Even when my punches have nothing left, I'm still showing up.

The Latest Project: Cosmopolitan Bias

2020 was a challenging year, but I'm excited to share my newest project - The Cosmopolitan Bias Podcast. A platform for nuanced conversations about culture and society.

All of Your Heroes Die - A List to Remember

Things I wish someone would have told me on the journey to being my best self. Lessons on kindness, mental health, and finding your path.

How Not to Pick Yourself

An exploration of why we don't know how to choose ourselves, and how to change that. Because the first step is understanding why you stopped going after what you want.

Normal People Suck & You Shouldn't Listen to Them

The minute you try to do something adventurous, or challenge the status quo, you start to make people nervous. Here's why you shouldn't let them hold you back.

Hurricane Sandy & How I Became a 'Woman of the Week'

Live from New York... With power and heat. Thoughts on Hurricane Sandy and an unexpected interview on The Cunnington Shift.

Why Not?

Why not you? Why not here? Why not now? You have exactly one life in which to do everything you'll ever do. Act accordingly.

Guest author: Joel Runyon

Art Looks Better When It's Naked

RAW. UNADULTERATED. UNTAMED. The most honest art is the art that bares itself completely.

Dare to Be Different

It doesn't matter if people get it right now or ever. If it's authentic and you're doing it for the right reasons, people will find you and love you for it.

The Road to Awe

Instead of putting a monetary or sales goal on my creation, I set a less tangible, and less attainable goal for myself: Inspire people and create wonder.

Don't Give Up

I'm still trying to figure out why I'm an artist. I'm the only artist in my family, and one of very few in my circle of friends. I've had 1,000 opportunities to do something else.

Bad Days

For an artist, a lot of times there aren't any other options when we're having a wretched day. We either work or we don't. And not working is not an option.

How Do I Know I'm Supposed to Be an Artist?

You're supposed to be an artist when you accept, fully, that there will be a struggle… And you like the idea of it.

The 'Brand' of Kristina

I don't really think about that. I just try to be the best possible Kristina Villarini I can be every day. What's your brand and who are you building it for?

Reasonable Doubt vs. Unreasonable Expectations

Doubt is a vicious thing. It takes what we know to be true and distorts it. The strongest counter to doubt is to set realistic expectations.

Leave Flattery to Corporate America

Flattery is for sub-par people you don't want to offend, not for the beautiful ones you're lucky to have as friends.

Finding Your Reason to Do This

Find your reason to do this, and make it a good one. The true reason is the weapon you'll be using for the rest of your life to combat your self-doubt.

Credibility and Hype

Artistic credibility is the validation of your work. It's your Grammy, your SAG, your Oscar. Being credible is also accepting that you may not ever get to that level.

Create. Contort. Repeat.

At some point, the 'little voice' we have ignored our whole lives starts to dictate how we write. We stop doing what is organic and start chaperoning ourselves.

The Hate/Hate Relationship

My relationship with writing is a lot like the one I used to have with women: I hate it sometimes, and it hates me all the time. But I still spend most of my time trying to figure it out.