Kristina's Thoughts

Reasonable Doubt vs. Unreasonable Expectations

By

5 min read

I've spoken before about how we are our own critics, idealizing our work and finding disappointment when we can't meet perfection. In that "failure" we find hopelessness and doubt.

Doubt is Art's Ex-Boyfriend

Doubt is a vicious thing. It takes what we know to be true: a fact, for example, and distorts it.

It reduces us to second-guessing. It reduces us to skeptics and cynics, instead of experts and geniuses.

What about a talent or a passion; something arbitrary that we feel strong about that cannot be proven by data or charts?

Doubt is indiscriminate.

It twists our plans inside of us, making them unrecognizable and worthless.

When doubt is an ingredient in the soufflé of creation, it will be the antithesis of light and delicious.

So, how do you beat doubt?

By knowing!

The strongest counter to doubt is to set realistic expectations, and be honest with yourself about what those expectations are. I'd love to blog once a day and complete all of the site redesigns I've talked about, culminating with a huge East Coast Launch Party aka my Birthday Party, but while writing for other websites, launching a small media firm, developing and writing my own content, responding to mail, proofreading and editing a full-length novel, attending Northeastern University and trying to have a social life–it seems almost impossible.

What you can do is set small expectations that are feasible to accomplish and enjoy the feeling of a minor victory every so often when you do.

Above all else, if you're a pessimist like me and you must doubt at all, doubt that anyone is doing exactly what you're doing right now.

Doubt that you're in the wrong line of work. Doubt that people won't love what you're doing.

But don't doubt yourself!

Tags

self-doubt
expectations
creative workload
small goals

About the Author

Kristina Villarini is the creator of The Empathetic Leader and founder of The Empathy Group — executive coach, keynote speaker, narrative strategist, and author of The People Are the Prize, Not the Profit. Over 20 years in rooms where it mattered.

Related Articles

Kristina's Thoughts

The Latest Project: Cosmopolitan Bias

2020 was a challenging year, but I'm excited to share my newest project - The Cosmopolitan Bias Podcast. A platform for nuanced conversations about culture and society.

Kristina's Thoughts

Home for the Holidays: On Legacy and Digital Authenticity

Reflecting on legacy, promises kept, and why who you are and what you stand for matters - whether it's IRL or on Instagram.