Why does winning feel like oxygen — and then vanish the second you breathe it in?
Your brain runs on dopamine. Every time you hit a target, dopamine fires off and your system says: "oh, this is good, do it again."
But dopamine fades fast. It was never designed to keep you satisfied. It was designed to keep you chasing.
Which is why that high disappears and you start looking for the next win before the first one ever settles.
This is called the hedonic treadmill — why you can get the job, the deal, the round of applause, and still feel strangely empty on the ride home.
I've seen this in myself and in the leaders I coach. We all thought the next milestone would finally erase our shame, our stuckness, our fears. And then we found out, usually painfully, that it didn't. Because winning isn't built to heal us.
At many of the fancy places I have worked, I had to remind myself: "Kris, you're playing the longest game of all."
Because I too got caught up on the treadmill. I thought momentum came from speed, from piling on more wins. I thought it would make me more valuable.
But the things I am most proud of are the times when I learned to manage my energy, be patient, align my focus, and stop mistaking a dopamine spike for actual progress.
No one tells us to stop chasing.
And that's the drug of winning: it tricks you into believing the high is the goal.
The real alchemy is learning how to break that cycle. How to stop chasing the next hit and start creating a nervous system that can hold clarity, stability, and self-trust — without the rush.
The same leaders chasing the next win are also the ones stuck in shame, fear, and self-doubt. They don't need another milestone. They need a way to stop living as if they are one win away from finally being "enough."
Winning feels good. But freedom feels better.