I've long admired Michael Ventura's work. "Applied Empathy" was one of the first books I read after creating my flagship brand, The Empathetic Leader.
His insights shaped the core of my work and the work of so many who know that empathy is a bridge to everywhere we want to go.
But his latest piece in the NYT, while thoughtful and well-written, gives too much credit to bad actors who know exactly what they're doing.
Of course empathy has a dark side. Everything powerful does.
And while I appreciate Michael naming the way empathy has been weaponized — used to manipulate, to blame, and to fake connection — the game being played is not to conflate empathy with wokeness. It's to remove empathy from our consciousness altogether.
Empathy without soul, purpose, or vision? Without people to deploy it? Without good leaders to do something with the information we gather when we learn from one another?
That's the ballgame.
When empathy becomes too costly — like eggs — people will find a way to go without.
But exceptionalism at the expense of everyone else is not empathetic — or exceptional — at all.
It's performance. Another tactic dressed up like truth.
We don't need more high-EQ robber barons. We don't need to teach people how to better mirror emotions so they can close deals or silence dissent.
We need leaders who feel deeply and act justly.
We need Robin Hoods, not ringmasters.
Empathy doesn't fail us. The systems that reward its exploitation do.
Empathy has not failed us — so the answer can't be less empathy.
The question is: who is building the pipeline for leaders with the courage to use empathy well?
There is a world in which we are not trading humanity for performance, and empathy is not weakness. It's not a soft skill, either.
Empathy means: see people. Stand with them. And build something better together — that lifts us all.