What is being a lesbian like, and what was it like growing up in New York?

These two questions get asked a lot, so I figured I'd address them first and together. Being a lesbian is a lot like being a man, except you're a woman. Growing up in New York provided me with the most thrilling opportunities for adventure, the coolest places to eat, the hottest girlfriends and exposed me to a plethora of people and opinions at a young age. I'm an open-minded, subway-riding, Central Park-loving, city slicker.

How did you know that you wanted to be a writer?

Well, it was always instinctual when I was young. I always gravitated toward a notepad with my thoughts or typed rebuttals to fights with my parents on the typewriter. I don't think I knew how cathartic or important writing was to our overall peace of mind. But as I get older, it is still the only thing I have continued to find my way to, no matter how bleak or destructive my life became. I wrote on Brooklyn College's newspaper. Every company that I worked for that had a newsletter, I wrote on it. Even when I felt "blocked", I was blogging on social networks or reading old notebooks and journals. I was always improving upon my old concepts or stories; Writing is the only thing that has never left me.

Who are your biggest influences [in various forms of art]?

The biggest writing influences on me are the late Nathanael West, author Chuck Palahniuk, author/screenwriter Tucker Max, blogger/cartoonist Hugh MacLeod and Charles Schulz, the late Peanuts cartoonist.

Those guys are funny, smart, honest and overall, brilliant. More than anyone who I've read or met, those guys continually impress and surprise me. As far as their respective crafts are concerned, they just did whatever the heck they wanted to do and success followed. It really is the template that I want to use to find my way through the very new murkiness of online writing. Those guys poured their hearts into their work, and they now have fame, admiration and respect to show for it. They simplified the things that everyone tries to complicate: love your work and be true to yourself and the rest is inconsequential.

In music, I don't think there's anyone I particularly admire. There are lots of musicians and bands I really love. Far too often, in the entertainment industry, your heroes can never live up to your expectations, so I rather just let them do their jobs and be lucky enough to watch and listen.

In art, Van Gogh, Monet and da Vinci still move me. They did things with a sketchbook and paint that people still cannot touch. I will look at Starry Night, and think it's one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. Any further description than that for any of those men is just critical jargon.

Does being a lesbian influence your writing?

I try to create stories where the dialogue and the relationships are as real as possible. I don't think I could really provide a sincere description of a heterosexual relationship despite my own belief that the conflicts can be very similar. However, I try to write about things I know or at the very least things I'm interested to research, so that the information comes across as fresh instead of this contrived pretentious fact dropping list of things.

What is the best way to contact you?

I say email because I have an iPhone, and I feel like you should be better at replying to those with that phone. But I also use Digsby, the IM client, to be available at once via Gmail, Facebook, AIM and Yahoo.

What other things are you passionate about?

I think most people know that if I'm married to writing, music is my dirty little whore. I love DJ'ing and I want to spend time getting good at that over the next few years. I am always listening to a variety of music though; it helps to keep my head clear.

Do you worry that by not taking the typical approach to publishing and marketing yourself, that casual readers will not be able to find you?

I don't write to be read, I write for it to be said.

How much discipline does it take to write?

I haven't figured that out yet. Finding the time to do it is hard, but everything you love requires sacrifice. I think I have difficulty with the restriction of scheduling writing. It becomes a burden for me when you're staring at your watch ready to start writing. I have a problem viewing something I love as a second occupation.

What is your process like?

The best analogy is writing as a clay pot? I have enough discipline to compose thoughts and ideas, and to mold them into an interesting story (shape) and to try and capture it while it's still pliant and fresh (wet). When it is ready, I'll post it on here (the oven), and hope it doesn't crack, and that the vision lasts the test of time.

I've actually not written stories because the idea became so warped and mulled over in my mind. I feel like there is just not much information you can get out of the cadaver of an idea.

In regards to writing, what is your worst quality?

I'm fortunate that I hardly ever second guess myself. My biggest problem is finishing stories, admittedly. I think I've created endings that wrap things up, and are fitting, but I write so close to the vest that finishing is always difficult. It's not as much about whether I can make the story better, but whether the world is willing to see it the way it was intended.

Do you try to write stories that can be enjoyed by everyone?

My stories are not happy or clean. They're about life and the messiness of it, and the things that make us human and flawed. I think that the world doesn't want to see a character that just doesn't know the answers, and can't resolve conflicts. It's too close to home. I want to create pictures and places that are so real, it could be happening in your living room. That's what I hope I evoke from people: emotion.